Thursday, March 31

Am I an old-fashioned punk who only likes sardines as bait?

Have you read the BBC web-pages lately - the language there is awful.
Here is an example:

"Our problem we need help - communication, radios, we need weapons," 

What the hell is this: "our problem we need help"

I mean sorry, English is not my mother-tongue, neither did I study that language. My written English is often crude, my spoken English ornamented with colorful expressions. If you meet me on the street, I would not appear to be an Shakespearian scholar. In the contrary, I like simple talk. But the BBC is going too far, too many a times. It just pains me. Language is the breath and expression of our souls, and once we start to castrate bits and pieces, the punctuation's, the flow of the melody - we are doomed to digress to stone age times.

So, the proper sentence is: Our problem is that we need help - simple as that, just a few more  punches on the key-board, two more words. Big deal - ah? Yeah, big deal actually.  
I see the same nonsense happening on Swiss and German news outlets, degrading my present status quo of a human being to the level of a Neanderthal cave citizen. 

Language does matter - have no doubt about it. What has this to do with Sardines? Well, I opened a can today, I suppose they where from Portugal, tasted a chunk, but it wasn´t that grand, tasted like bait to me.
Sometimes bait is the only way to go, but not always.


Painting Tips and Tricks said...

This is such a great site! I like the way you set this up! Great content! Thanks for sharing this!...Daniel

Mercutio said...

Here's a few more translations, from Beeb to Plain English (or perhaps that would be Plains English):

Waaah! We need stuff!

El problemo? We need some effing help, mister!

What the eff is the deal? We're standing on straight-up SOL!

You want to know what the malfunction is here? We need some backup. Like, yesterday.

I believe that should suffice to indicate why it is that I do not write for the BBC.
And besides, my British accent sucks, though I can do a really good pirate's voice.
That should liven up the news a bit.

Zee said...

Who the heck is Daniel?

Mercutio, I like that idea of a pirate´s voice, funny that you mention it. Just watched Pirates of the Caribbean last night.

Dirk said...

Recently my wife and I went out with friends and she ordered a salad and the waitress asked "Do you want sardines on that?" "Oh yes" I chimed in realizing that she did not know what sardines were. It was only after she finished her meal that we enlightened her and she was less then thrilled with the experience.

lindsaylobe said...

I think effective communications in any language always requires you to be direct, simple, brief, vigoress and lucid – as far as is practical or possible given your audience.
Selecting with precision the words takes an awful lot of time and effort. ‘I did not have time to write you a short letter, so I wrote you a long one instead’ attributed to Mark Twain.
Best wishes.

Seraphine said...

one day a sardine will eat you.
in the meantime, you are bait.
that, my dear friend zee, is the essence of the human condition.

i love the bbc. i like the way they report international news. i like watching bbc on television. there is nothing quite like it in the americas.